Franchise – Bourne films vs. Spider ManHilarity: Simmons - Intensity: Cooper - Box Office: Spiderman
WINNER: Simmons
Against type – Adaptation (Eccentric) vs. The Music Never Stopped (Caring therapist)
Metacritic score: Adaptation – Farther from type: Cooper - Oscar: Cooper
WINNER: Cooper
Challenging traditional American mores – American Beauty vs. Juno
Depressing: American Beauty – Funny: Juno – Mores challenged: 6 (Jailbait, affairs, drugs, blackmail, Nazis, illusion of suburban bliss) vs. 1 (Teen pregnancy)
WINNER: Cooper
Horse movies adapted from books – The Horse Whisperer vs. Seabiscuit
Director: Horse Whisperer (Robert Redford) – Success of novel: Horse Whisperer – Scarlett Johansson?: Horse Whisperer
WINNER: Cooper
Racially intense – A Time to Kill vs. Oz
Memorability due to horribly sadistic violence: Simmons – Samuel L Jackson?: A Time to Kill – Sandra Bullock?: Oz
WINNER: Simmons
Work with comedy auteurs – Me, Myself & Irene (Farrelly Bros.) vs. Extract (Mike Judge)
Use of word “dingus”: Simmons – Humorous quality of rhetoric from “urban” supporting cast: Me Myself & Irene – Humorous unawareness of Spain’s colonial past: Extract
WINNER: Simmons
Movies with the CIA in them – Syriana vs. Burn After Reading
Funny: Burn After Reading – Serious: Syriana – Obvious Coen Brothers bias: Burn After Reading
WINNER: Simmons
Notable voice work – Where the Wild Things Are vs. Megamind/Spiderman/Batman/et. al
Spike Jonze?: Cooper – Embodiment of role as angry newspaper editor: Simmons – Breadth of experience: Simmons
WINNER: Simmons
Critic’s darlings – Capote vs. Cider House Rules
Is Brandt in it?: Capote – Oscars: Cider House Rules (2) – Use of the word “mendacious”: Capote
WINNER: Cooper
Military/Cop – Amigo/Remember Me/Jarhead/The Patriot vs. Red Sands/The Way of War/Arrested Development/Harsh Times
Can walk through generic hard-ass role with their eyes closed: Both
WINNER: Tie
Harder hard-ass: In an angry, profanity laced tirade JK Simmons wins 5-4 – though both men are very disappointed in you.
